NEWS

Inspired by dad, Keynon Lake is role model to boys

TEXT AND PHOTOGRAPHS BY ERIN BRETHAUER

Talking about safe sex with a room full of teenage boys is like riding a speedboat through choppy waters.

You’ve got to just hang on and keep going.

But Keynon Lake, who’s leading this rousing conversation, navigates the exploding laughter, misconceptions and colorful side conversations with a calm focus.

“Read us the symptoms,” he asks T.J.

“Gentleman, once again, you need to educate yourself about what’s happening with the diseases in this world,” he said. “Because I’m gonna be honest with you, I don’t want my stuff looking like this.”

Cue the slide. You can imagine.

“Gentleman, there’s no sex on earth that’s worth your life. Just like drugs, when you have a sex at a young age it can alter your mindset.”

But this isn’t a story about sex education. It’s about the man who, inspired by his father, spends his free time educating and mentoring 15-20 teenage boys twice a week at the Pisgah View community center.

Every week, he opens up discussion with the group, the majority of them African-American in low-income public housing, about difficult topics to navigate from STDs to the state of the current prison system, from life on the streets to cultivating a deeper consciousness.

He’s a constant in these boys’ lives when there are many inconsistencies.

“Gentleman, it’s so very easy to get in trouble, but it’s so hard to get out. And in a blink of an eye it can go from zero to 60 just like that.”

Sometimes it seems like the boys aren’t paying attention, or they’re messing around with each other. But other times, the room is silent and some of them rest their heads on the table to listen.

At 37, Lake is a tall man with voice capable of booming above 20 teenage boys, which is crucial to this line of volunteer work.

He grew up in Asheville, attending Asheville High School where he was an all-state basketball player in 1996, the year he graduated.

He went on to study sports medicine and graduated from North Carolina Central University.

Basketball runs in the family. Lake’s father, Bennie Lake, was a member of the original Harlem Globetrotters from 1968-72.

“Our lives kind of patterned each other,” says Lake.

Basketball was the first passion they shared. But the next was unexpected for the son of a Globetrotter.

Lake’s father was a social worker with the juvenile justice department.

“I had no aspiration of ever being a social worker. However, God had a different agenda and plan on my life.”

After traveling and playing basketball with an all-star team in Mexico, Lake returned to Asheville. He started looking for a job and fell into work as an income maintenance caseworker for two years.

But after hearing that there was a need for more male social workers, Lake shifted to follow in his father’s footsteps. He entered the social work field to become a community service navigator and Child Protective Services social worker.

After a few years on the job, he started to make disturbing realizations.

“I started noticing, it didn’t matter which part of the county I was on, I could have been in Biltmore Forest, could have been in Hillcrest, could have been in Barnardsville, could have been in Black Mountain. Didn’t matter which area I was in, I started seeing that there were no men in the homes. And everywhere I went, all my cases were single moms. And I was like, what’s going on, where are these men at?”

It was around this time that his father passed away, in February of 2010.

Mourning his father’s death ignited a change in Lake.

“I was blessed to have both my mom and my dad growing up. I was truly blessed. I needed to do something,” he said. “I had had ideas but once he passed, it was like, you know what? This is an opportunity to step up and do something because there are so many youth who need this.”

The main thing his father taught him was love, and how to be a caring, loving man, he said. He decided to write a book; he titled it, “My Daddy Taught Me That.”

One month later, he started the “My Daddy Taught Me That” program at Pisgah View’s community center, the only place that would give him free space. He funded it out of pocket.

The twice weekly meetings start the same way; Lake arrives and opens the doors to the community center. Some of the boys set down bags or boxes of food — Bojangles, McDonald’s, Pizza Hut — on a long table. The others flood in, joking around. He gives them the cue and they grab dinner and then cluster around two long tables in the front of the room. Every meeting 15-20 boys attend; 27 are signed up.

After they finish eating, Lake starts the program. It’s usually a mix of conversation and lectures. Sometimes he starts with a specific topic in mind, other days he discusses the things happening on the streets. He’ll show inspirational videos on YouTube.

To give the boys an opportunity to see outside of their usual scope, Lake has organized trips to a Carolina Panthers game and whitewater rafting. He’s currently trying to plan a trip to Atlanta.

Many of the young men in the program learn about it through word of mouth.

D’Andre Smith, 16, started coming after meeting Lake outside in Pisgah View.

“Most of us come here to actually learn and listen to Keynon because I think he gives us a lot of good information that we can use when we’re farther in life. Things we haven’t talked about, like the economy, things we need to know, what’s going on in the world, things like that.”

Smith’s mother agrees.

“Most African-American young men are in this broke family home where there’s no father,” says Angela James. “Keynon steps in to take up that space and makes up for some of that.”

She appreciates that Lake teaches them how to shake someone’s hand and look them in the eye.

“You’ve got your educational support, disciplinary support. Outreach for jobs. He does so many things for these kids.”

Though roughly half the young men walk to the community center at Pisgah View for the meetings, some young men travel from much farther.

Chris Caldwell, 16, moved into the Black Mountain Homes for Children in April 2013, after his mom passed away. He’d grown up not knowing his father, who died in 2007. He started attending Lake’s group two years ago and takes Carolina Transport from Black Mountain to attend.

“Most of us don’t have fathers in the home, so he’s like a father to some of us,” says Caldwell. “I feel like I get guided into how to be a man, and it uncovers all of the things I didn’t have when my dad was not around.”

And what does Caldwell want to be when he grows up?

“I’m thinking of being a therapist. I think it’s good to talk to people,” he said.

For Lake, the love his father instilled in him lives on through his work. He believes the program’s success is tied into educating and shifting behavior at a crucial age.

“This is the way the world is turning, this is the way the world is going, this is how it affects you. This is what you need to look for. It’s really important for me to let them know because I think that a lot of times we look at them like teenagers but still you don’t want to sugar coat it for them at the same time.

“But you want them to understand that pretty soon in a couple of years you’ll be right in the middle of this and you’ll be an adult and the same things that are happening now may be changing but you need to understand it now so you can get ahead of the game or understand how to face it.”

To learn more

about how to volunteer with “My Daddy Taught Me That,” or to make a donation, visit www.mydaddytaughtmethat.com, email trelake.4@gmail.com or call 582-2261.

Show benefits program

What: Funny ‘R’ Us Comedy Show. Some proceeds benefit My Daddy Taught Me That.

When: Doors open at 8 p.m., show starts at 9, July 4

Where: Asheville Community Theatre, 35 E. Walnut St.